Off topic

Top 10 New Year’s Resolutions (in the Year 2063)

Picking January 1st to do all the stuff you’ve been putting off for the past year is an enduring tradition, but the actual resolutions change over time.  In the early 21st century, losing weight and saving money were the most popular choices.  But now that the future is here, there are some new ones in the mix.  Here are the ten most common resolutions made on New Year’s Day, 2063.

10. Spend more time with family and friends (robot companions count, right?)

9. Go vegetarian (lab-grown meat doesn’t count, right?)

8. Stop making lewd objects on the library’s 3D printer

7. Learn Spanish (that is, download the app into an auto-translator)

6. Get the virtual closet organized by color, season and file size


5. Throw out that collection of vintage 1998-2020 Metro Area Yellow Pages that’s been moldering in the basement

4. Unplug the server that’s sheltering that rogue AI

3. Cut down visits to the mashed-potato vending machine to once a week or less

2. Stop teaching swear words to the family car’s voice activation system

…and finally…

1. Get a tracking bracelet and start measuring laziness in a more precise, numerical format.

So that’s my list.  What are YOU going to change about your life now that it’s the future?  Share this post on Facebook, then speak up in the comments.

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